Fair Winds

It is with a great sadness that I learned of the passing of both Don Knotts:



and Darren McGavin (the dad from A Christmas Story):


As with Scotty I won't spend time trying to eulogize these wonderful entertainers -- I didn't know them and would never be up to the task. But you are up to the task. The best way to eulogize someone you never met is to learn a little bit about them and remember what you do know about them. Such interested attention is what sets many down the road to theatre, so I imagine it's an effort they would posthumously appreciate.

So... take the 4 or 5 minutes that you would otherwise spend poking around this blog (you do stay for at least 4 or 5 minutes, right... right???) and google these men a bit.

Here are a few good links to start with:
http://www.darrenmcgavin.net/
http://www.donknotts.tv/

I know that the only halcyon days are those long past, but Don Knotts struck me, always, as a rare breed of comic: someone funny without having to be dirty. One wonders if a good clean comic could "make it" today.

Fair winds, boys. And thank you.

-Ed

Mardi Gras

Speaking of saturation....

I went to a Mardi Gras party last night. I didn't want to dress up, drink too much, and wake up with a pounding head. I really didn't. But, I felt the need to symbolically show my support for New Orleans and its current attempt to bring some cheer to the rebuilding city. I was not able to fly down there this year and give my tourist dollars to the effort, but I was able to hold a glass high to a place of fond memories.

Ed trying to look intimidating with his bling

Many thanks to my friend Glen for giving me what has been termed my "nerd-bling", a large gold-plated letter E. I'm not sure what use you felt this would go to when you got it for me, but I hope you would be surprised at just how much mileage I have gotten out of it.

-Ed

ps. I think I could be an extra for "poser mobile".

Saturation

Ok, so here is an attempt to expand on that vaporware post below. Of course, it is almost 1am, so I'm not sure I am in any better shape to talk about it now than I was then.

I have been thinking of what kind of blog entries are "better" to write. Now, better here is a relative term because the whole point of this blog is my personal catharsis and what gives me ease fluctuates daily. Yet, as always, there is an urge to be a good host.

For me there are two options for blog entries: stories and parables. How do I make a distinction? Stories are simple retellings of an event -- I had a breakfast bar, put up a door, soaked in the tub, built a snowman, etc... Parables, on the other hand, are inspired by reality but seek a lesson to be learned -- the more universal the better. Many of my parables on this blog have been about hope (from looking for fireworks on a car-ride home to learning of the recurrence of my mother's cancer).

For a while the preference was clear: parables all the way! Stories suck! What use is a reflection space if it is focused on the mundane? Pass up the minutae of our days and strike at the meat of the experience! Upon reflection this left me with two problems:

1. It is hard, sometimes, to translate my daily minutae into philosophical truth.
2. Sometimes the parabalizing of a story makes it lose real meaning.

Ok, 1 is easy. I ate toast today. If you can make that a life lesson you are a better person than I. But 2...

How could parabalizing a story make it lose meaning? Relevance? Isn't parabalizing a story boiling it down to its universal essence? Its most direct lesson learned? Absolutely! And it is the boiling down to a universal point that discards so much information.

How does that help you, the dedicated blogging reader, know me better? How does that help the future Ed look back on these archives and measure how far he has (or has not) progressed? Example? Of course...

A few posts ago I spoke about the struggle between whether my cluttered house reflected a cluttered spirit. It was a decent parable, as parables go, I suppose. Now, imagine that same blog entry had been written both by Felix Unger and Oscar Madisson (*sigh*... go ahead and google... I'll wait.... darn younguns....). Your impression of the parable, and its chronicler, would be pretty radically different depending on who wrote it. Why? Because for one person the parable would be an understatement, and for the other it would be an overstatement.

When two people are completely saturated by an event they may relate it in very similar ways, in very similar terms. What differentiates those two people is just what it took to saturate them in the first place. That is the problem I see with all parables I read in blogs, mine included. This boiling down to essence... was it a mountain or a molehill that was boiled down? Did the person lose a limb or just get a paper-cut?

All of which makes me question the honesty of what I post and what I read. Comparing or relating to others' experiences (or my own past experiences) becomes impossible at the "parable" level, because such posts are only inspired by reality. There is no way to apply the "lost-limb or paper-cut" test. A such, I find myself questioning my own sincerity (which, to quote Jane, damages my calm) as I lack the ability to see if I am over or under reacting.

So, such was my ponderance on mental saturation... what causes us to reach our limit... losing a limb or getting a paper cut and how do we tell the difference.

---

Now, the above is a parable. The stories behind it are numerous, and there is a little reality from many parts of my life in there. Often times, people call me up with a parable and I use my knowledge of what it takes to saturate them to reverse engineer the story. I think it is something we all do. If one person calls and says the sky is falling, we roll our eyes and find out what inconvenience happened. If someone else calls and says the sky is falling, we prepare for World War III.

ps. wow. I can't believe you read all the way down to here. I owe you a cookie.

Quickie

I promise, substance is coming...

I was looking at my web counter (I've been getting some good traffic lately -- please, keep it up, it motivates me to keep posting) and one of the statistics it gives me is the "referring URL" of where you came from.

So, if you come to my blog from a google search, I can actually go to that google search and see just what it is you were searching for which brought you to my blog.

So, I was quite surprised that someone would perform a search of haircut fetishes. I was even more surprised to see that such a search had a hit on my blog!

Try it for yourself:
http://search.msn.co.uk/results.aspx?q=short%20buzz%20haircuts%20fetish&first=11&FORM=PERE


-Ed

Vaporware

This is a vaporware post. It's too late for me to write coherently, so this is just a placeholder for some good blogging ideas. As an aside, my cell phone plan runs out on the 28th and I am looking to purchase a phone that is a bit more... technologically advanced so I can keep little notes on my person instead of publishing them so I will remember to chat about them later.

I had some thought process regarding the commonality of mental saturation, and I wasn't quite able to express it well, but it is something I think I could try and talk about tomorrow, when I am a bit more refreshed. That is, this assumes I can remember what on earth "commonality of mental saturation" means tomorrow at lunch.

-Ed

Ephiphany

I was in class Saturday, bright and early, 8:30am. I need to talk, sometime, about my Saturdays. Usually up at 6:45am, and often not to bed until 2am that evening, they have become quite interesting for me.

But this blog is not about Saturdays. It is about a particular bestowal of knowledge that I had during my class yesterday morning. Please, allow me to relay a portion of my teacher's comments from that day (paraphrased through my rapidly-aging memory).

The software running on the space shuttle is an example of high-reliability software, as an error in that software could joepardize lives. This kind of software has historically been called man-rated. I imagine this terminology is a bit dated, as now astronauts are comprised of other genders.



Now, I go to this class to learn, no questions about it. But I always thought that I would be learning about software. The idea that, in addition to male there are several other genders is intriguing. How many other genders are there? Is this a new step in human evolution? Have I been missing out on a new gender revolution?

Clearly, this can only be solved through exhaustive internet searching.

-ed

Late Night Laundry Lists

My first jujitsu class after "the injury" has gone well. I took it easy, just taught the new students. Only took a few falls, and only threw a few people. Hopefully, by next Thursday all will be well. Just a little stiffness and pain left, but that's what Advil is for.

My decluttering efforts have just gotten a boost! My sisters just purchased a vacation home near Ocean City, MD - a little townhouse next to a marina. Woohoo! We have lots of stuff we can donate to the new place. 8)

Linda is pretty miseable some nights, but it is a misery we love (easy for me to say) as it means Lentil is doing just fine. 8 weeks and counting, keep those fingers crossed!

I am now just cracking open my textbook to work on homework. Oy. I'll be up another hour or two. I am propped up in bed with my laptop and a cup of tea, procrastinating through blogging. I also realize I need to get back to drinking tea. How one can be civilized sans tea is beyond me.

I am also listening to my i-pod again! My i-pod suffered from the dreaded battery syndrome. However, for $50 I got a new battery delivered (that is 75% more powerful than the original i-pod battery). This evening before Jjitsu I took my i-pod apart and installed the new battery and wah-la! I have a portable i-pod again!

-Ed

Gotta Love the Layouts

So I was perusing msnbc.com today and just happened to notice a pretty funny layout. As most people who read msnbc.com know, the right side of the web site is filled with advertisements. Most of them are for dating services, no doubt trying to cash in on onery single people on Valentine's Day.

There was also a picture of Vice President Cheney, referring to a story on how he accidentally peppered a hunting partner (I'm sure you haven't yet heard about it...).

Now, my question is.... was this layout accidental or intentional? Either way, it got a good laugh out of me.



I guess VPs need love too!

-Ed

I Love You

If you are reading this blog entry, rest assured... I love you and want to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day.




Now, that, above, may need a little explanation, especially to my lovely bride....

The Greeks had approximately five words that mean love, encompassing almost every definition of affection***. With a little help from our friend, the wikipedia, we can learn a little bit about these definitions:


Agape (ἀγάπη agápē) means love in modern day Greek. In Ancient Greek it generally refers to a "pure", ideal type of love rather than the physical attraction suggested by eros.

Eros (ἔρως érōs) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Greek word erota means in love. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself.

Philia (φιλία philía), means friendship in modern Greek, a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity.

Storge (στοργή storgē) means affection in modern Greek; it is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.

Xenia (ξενίαxenía), means hospitality in modern Greek and was an extremely important practice in ancient Greece. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and their guest, who could previously be strangers.


So to my family, I offer sincerest Agape.
To my wife, a little Eros.
To my friends, let me cop a Philia.
To my mom, a little Storge.
And to you that I don't know -- thanks for dropping in and partaking in a little Xenia.

Understanding that there are all kinds of affection helps us to not take any kind of relationship for granted. Maintaining friendships, especially of many different types, requires effort, and virtue, and interest. Indeed, maintaining them requires some love. The right kind of love. Please... no chocolates from my old college buddies.

Seriously, though, why the post about friendships and love and affection? It's part of an emotional decluttering. When you think of all relationships as a form of love you start thinking of relationships are the two-way street they are. It is very easy, in an "eros" sort of way, to recognize unrequited love, mismatched love, or just plain old pining-away. When you realize that love can encompass friendships, familyships, and even courtesy to a stranger you start to wonder how that love is returned.

In some friendships and familyships it is returned a great deal. In others, one finds they do a majority of the work. It makes for an interesting reflection and, more importantly, may become a better tool for me to better understand how to prioritize to whom I can give my time and my effort and my attention. It is decidedly unloving to rob attention away from someone who reciprocates to give it to someone who does not. So, just as some Xenia grows to Philia, so does some Philia fade to Xenia. I think that must be a fairly common cycle.

The trick, I imagine, is to remember that it is all a kind of love, and, thus, it is all good. So, Happy VD to all.

-Ed

***The Greeks had no word for the love of one far hotter than you who completely disregards you and makes your high school prom miserable. So, alas, I have no way of discussing love in high school. For everything else, though, I think they got it covered.

The limitations of maledom

There are certain combinations of activities that, consistently, befuddle the male brain. Are there really mutually exclusive concepts out there? Is the male of our species doomed to pick one over the other? Is there no middle ground?

Let me give you some examples and let you be the judge. DO you know of any men with a capacity to combine:

- Moderation and Technology
- Injury and Common Sense
- Game Playing and Internal Calm

The list, some might argue, is endless. I'd expand on any of these except the real expert on these limitations happens to be our wives and girlfriends, sisters and mothers, and our assortment of female friends.

However, recently, I was given a special insight into these limitations -- a rare glimpse given my male brain, and I can safely add another pradoxical pairing to the list:

- Doing Laundry and Wearing Dry-Clean Only Sweaters

Let me provide a terrific example...

Men, real men, do laundry in a particular way. Here is, pardon the pun, a laundry list of how men do laundry.

1. Grab a bunch of dirty laundry from upstairs. Use of a laundry basket is optional. The pile of dirty laundry should be at least 50% dirty laundry. Rarely is it 100% dirty laundry as we tend to pick up anything in the room we see.

2. Take the ball of laundry and put it into the washing machine. Turn the dials to cold/cold, the load setting to heavy, maximize the number of rinses, turn it on and go build something.

3. Come back, take everything out of the washing machine, put it in the dryer. Consider putting in a dryer sheet, but, upon sniffing it, decide otherwise. Set the dryer to the maximum heat setting and maximum time.

4. Inform wife it is time to fold the laundry.

5. Carry laundry back upstairs (laundry basket is optional). Resist the temptation to pick up old dirty laundry dropped from Step 1. This will be taken care of by wife or the cats.

6. Put laundry away.

This is how men do laundry. Anyone who says otherwise is lying to look good on the web. This is fundamentally incompatible with the wearing of dry-clean only clothes. As such wardrobe inventory involves the ridiculous step of sorting such items from the dirty laundry before washing. I know.. I know.. it's crazy.

What happens when these two things mix?


When men do laundry and wear dry-clean only clothes

Why are my arms sitting straight up like I was a puppet? Simple -- I could not put them down without threatening to rip the sweater open.

So, please, stop discriminating against our male limitations. If you buy us (men) dry-clean only clothes for Christmas, or our birthday, please... include a lifetime dry-cleaning service as part of that gift.

The Weather Outside

Is frightful, and inside it's so delightful, so since we've no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.





Linda and I had a wonderful weekend. We had friends over, we hot-tubbed, we watched olympics, I shoveled snow, Linda built a snowman:



And then she pulled me out to have pictures taken with the snowman, whom we named Bill. If I look a little tired it was because I had just finished shoveling out, one-armed. ;)



Linda also took some nice pictures of local foliage:


Outside of some socializing, we also made a little headway in the declutter arena, generating 5 black garbage bags of trash, 4 bags of clothes for goodwill, and 4 boxes of stuff for the Salvation Army. Oddly, our house is still cluttered, but it is with clutter we love. :)

-Ed

Ouch, Redux

The shoulder is slowly healing, with an almost full range of motion back again. Based on the sizable lump on my shoulder friday I was able to rule out a rotator cuff injury (whew!). It's too early to tell if I'll be back 100% come next Thursay's class, but, just in case, I advise all to buy stock in Advil and Motrin.

-Ed

Ouch

Landed on my shoulder from 5' in the air in jujitsu today. I hate it when tall people throw you. Been icing it all night, and am full-up on Motrin. I am gradually getting range of movement back, but it is slow in coming and there is alot of pain. If it isn't notcably better by morning it'll be a trip to the sports medicine clinic.

*sigh*.. I blog this to refer to my previous blog about..."why do I do this to myself?"

Sorry the blog entry is choppy, I can only type with my right hand.

:(

I guess the declutter will have to wait a bit. :)

What is frustrating is that this is something I drill into my students to never do. Never. It is too easy to hurt yourself. But I was tired, and my mind elsewhere, and I was coming back from a 2 month hiatus. I guess we are to do as sensei Ed says and not as sensei Ed does...

-Ed

Getting In Hot Water

There comes a time in all of our lives when we need to get into a little bit of hot water. And if that water happens to be sitting in a large bucket outside your house, with a few jets in it, all the better.

About 2 years ago, when Linda and I moved into our house we had a small financial windfall and decided to splurge on a hot tub. For over a decade my sister had a hot tub, and more recently good friends of mine had bought a hot tub. They are great for parties and given my advancing age and propensity for activities that abuse my body, a quick soak here and there is a God-send.

We have a Hot Springs Grandee, which looks a little bit like this:





Except ours is partially sunk into our deck out back.

Sometimes, over the winter, we have people over and we always extend an invitiation to bring bathing suits for a dip in the tub. People often wonder if it is too cold to get into a hot tub. Surely when it is 20 degrees outside sitting in your bathing suit is not a good idea!



How some may envision winter tubbing


Such people have clearly never owned a hot tub!

The main purpose of the thing is that the water is hot (although we keep ours at a balmy 100 degrees). There is nothing nicer than taking a bottle of wine (or port!) and sipping a glass (or two!) while getting a nice aquatic massage and looking up at the stars. The mist rising from the water keeps the air above the tub nice and warm. Once, after a snow, Linda and I stayed in the hot tub for over an hour, just taking in the peaceful, muted scene of a snow-covered backyard.



In a spa, you don't feel the cold.


Sometimes, I would cart a small television outside, run a long cable cord, and pop some popcorn and we would float in the tub and watch some television shows for an hour or two. 8) There really are no rules for when to use the tub, or how. In fact, I prefer the winter time as the water is never too hot. One generally does not want to sit in 100 degree water when it is 100 degrees outside. 8)

Now that Linda is pregnant, I wondered if I would still enjoy time spent out there alone. Monday night was the first time I got in the tub in quite some time because of this fear. While I didn't stay in for hours, my 30 minute dip was as calm and relaxing and quiet as one could hope for, and it did wonders on my aching back.

So here is a little tribute post to my hot tub. Thanks for working out some stress this week. And for those who come over for dinners and poker nights you need no invitation. My tub is your tub -- it always was, and it always will be. If you ever need some hydrotherapy, just give me a ring. 8)



-Ed

House of Mirrors

I've been thinking a lot about decluttering. It's my second favorite topic, next to my near-senile age. I've talked about simplifying my life but the closest I get to leaves of grass is when I mow the lawn.

So I was posting a comment on otter's excellent blog (link to the right) and it got me thinking about clutter, and the whole decluttering process. Specifically, I had commented that my desire to declutter was the desire to filter the distractions from my life. It isn't the clutter's fault that I get distracted, it is my fault for letting myself be distracted by it. Upon subsequent reflection, there are parts of me that agree with that, and parts of me that do not.

The part that agrees with that says that ones internal emotional wellbeing is completely independent of the circumstances in which one finds themselves. Ever see someone cool in a crisis? If they walked into the flea-market that is my home, they would still be able to be focused and calm; centered. And that part of me envies that ability. To insulate ones external surroundings from ones internal balance is a skill and one that, I think, is necessary for weathering the storms we encounter in life.



We should all have an unshakable internal calm


And then there is the other side of me that wants to call BS on the whole thing. Why? Because the discussion above is not speaking of walking into someone else's mess. The discussion is the clutter that we generate, ourselves, in our lives. As such, our houses are reflections of our internal state and the clutter is a reflection of that state. As such, it is impossible, if not plain silly, to try and draw a line between the two.



Our house is a mirror of ourselves



So, which is it? By looking at my house one can clearly decide that I can't answer that question (and rapidly fluctuate between the two). One thing is clear to me, though: I have a drive to build and to create. The things I keep are often things that I think drive my creativity, or things that could be used as tools, or things that could be used as materials for projects. Unfortunately, for us MacGyver (sp?) creative types, that means we keep everything.



I keep everything for its potential future utility


I'm starting to lean towards understanding that a substantive change in surrounding clutter implies a substantive change to the way one thinks. I think I'm going to shorten the words future utility down to just futility.

Linda assures me that it really isn't as bad as all that. We moved into the house 2 years ago this summer. Since then we have put a hot tub, deck, patio, and retaining wall in the house. I've set up a small woodshop in the garage, built a home-brew PVR and kept up with graduate classes and jujitsu classes. Don't even get me started on the upstairs hallway. Some of our clutter derives from our just being constantly busy. Maybe, come this spring, as our house workload subsides we will find the time (emotionally and physically) to give our house a necessary clean sweep.

Of course, that means when you are invited over to the house, stop by wearing work clothes. 8)

_Ed

A big thank you

So many people have written to wish us well.

Thank you

The past two days have been an absolute whirlwind, between news, and class this evening. And our phone has been one steady ring. 8) And we love it.

Linda and I are very happy and very excited... more than we thought we would let ourselves be. Experience has taught us that things do not always go well, but our choice has always been to share and to celebrate.

Linda's grandmother passed away approximately one year ago, just shy of 90 years old. Linda recounts how, when she turned 89, she had wanted a big party. Some of her children thought a major celebration was premature and should wait until the more round number 90. It didn't seem like to odd a request to delay such events by one year -- we all like big, round numbers. Unfortunately, and in hindsight, that was not the best decision. Linda's grandmother didn't strike me as a "wait for it" person -- she struck me as an "eat the dessert first" person.

We collectively cannot avoid all the bad decisions we will make in life, but we can try and learn from the ones we do make. I've made a few bad decisions in my life (hell, in the past 30 minutes), and I've learned a thing or two, too. Life is too short to put off celebration. Life is too short to not give yourself permission to feel joy. Life is also too short to cook for you people, but that's a different blog entry.

So go to the movies. Eat dinner tonight using your china (blow the dust off of it first). Make that fire in the fireplace. E-mail that friend or family member you keep forgetting about. The dust will be there tomorrow. The clutter will be there tomorrow. The laundry will be there tomorrow. Heck, this blog will be here tomorrow, so stop reading and go out and do something. 8)

Back so soon? Ok, let's continue...

I've made that picture of my lentil bean my background wallpaper on my computer at work. At lunch today I took a moment and just stared at it. I even stared at it in stereo, because I have 2 monitors on my computer. My child is the size of a pea (pre-cooked size) -- with a heart. And there are no guarantees that my little pea will grow into a healthy baby. But again we tell everybody we can, and we feel giddy joy. Why take the risk of raising hope so early? Life is too short not to.

So, if you will excuse me, I will no longer harp on things that are in God's hands, not mine. If you need me, I will be hopping around someplace like a suger-rushed Tigger. And tomorrow night, we will be eating on China (and yes, Linda, I'll wash it).

-Ed

thumpa thumpa thumpa

Now, say that 140 times a minute and you've got....

My kid's heartbeat! 8) That's right... Linda is 7 weeks pregnant! Finally, my plan to take over the world through genetic abundance has begun. :)

This past week has been an emotional rollercoaster for us. As some may know we had a "missed" pregnancy in September at around 4 weeks and it took a little time to recouperate from that. While 7 weeks is far from the 12 week "this looks safe" period, it's enough for us to start getting excited about it! So hopes and prayers for a successful trimester are greatly appreciated, if not outright encouraged.

Without further ado, let me present to the blogging world my lentil bean:



It's amazing that something so... small has a heart, and the heart is beating, and beating loudly and clearly enough that we could hear it.

thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa

...music to my ears.

-Ed

Keep looking here

Lots of interesting stuff to write about, just haven't had the time.

Hopeuflly big news (at least big news for me) will be reportable in the next day or so.

-Ed

Never Criticize

Today I heard the phrase "walk a mile in their shoes" and it reminded me of a joke my father used to tell:

You should only criticize someone after you have walked a mile in their shoes. Why?

Because, by then, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.

ba-dum-dum

-Ed

Principles

Disclaimer
You know, re-reading this post, I think it sounds terribly arrogant. It isn't meant to be arrogant. I just know my computer science stuff, that's all. Keep that in mind as I opine. Thanks.
End Disclaimer

When I first started my graduate study, I was annoyed.

I was annoyed that I had to purchase cheesy fluff books that cost more than a good PDA. I was annoyed that I had to sit for hours each week and listen to someone drone on about something I could teach. I was annoyed that I had to be nice to people who opined on the subject of computer science with the insight of a baby carrot.

I'd spent over 10 years in the industry. Almost enough to be seasoned. Certainly enough to blow through the early coursework of a master's degree. I'd been tutoring people for money through their master's degrees since I was a junior in college. Needless to say, my opinion of advanced-degree programs was rather low.

I had always prided myself on being the intellectual underdog wherever I worked -- the person who was an expert without, paradoxically, a higher educational degree. I'm not sure of the origin of my disdain for academic accolades. Maybe it was the odd pleasure I took in correcting people with much more formal education than I.

Then I found myself in an academic institution. I was told, quite honestly, that I needed to get a higher degree or else my salary would max out faster than my Discover card at Christmas. Hence, I got annoyed, which was covered already at the start of this blog.

But, slowly, I have found myself coming to enjoy graduate school. A fact which, quite frankly, horrifies me. These classes are places where I can geek out to my heart's content. I can talk software for hours and, in some classes, I get to do that! More importantly, for the non-touchy-feely-fluff-discussion-crap classes I am learning why things are the way they are.

When you are trying to piece together a logical puzzle in industry, on your own, you tend to focus on the end result, ignoring the etymology of the science terms. Understanding why a certain equation is the way it is, and why systems work they way they work has been an absolute trove of geeky information for me.

Yes, the grading is based on the what and is a necessary but not burdensome evil of having to be graded. However, the why is what is truly intriguing to me.

For example, in class this evening we were going over techniques for doing something tedious and boring to a non-computer person. I had read the material and knew it up down and backwards -- at least to the level we were discussing it -- before class started. So, some theorem was put on the board and I took a little mental vacation as the teacher (who is very good) presented the material. On my mental vacation, I flipped through the text book, took some personal notes, trying to understand why a certain theorem was true.

Class ended, and I stayed after for a few moments. I went up to my teacher and asked "is this why that theorem is true?" He looked at what I drew on the blackboard, though a moment, and said "yes, exactly". We spoke about it for a while, and then I went home.

Did I need to do this to succeed in the "plug-n-chug" that will be the basis of my grade in this class? Absolutely not. However, I learned that the education from graduate school, at least at this level, will become what I make out of it and that is a very exciting prospect. So, I think I have found a way in which I can make graduate school worth my time (as something other than a means to a wage increase).

In fact, driving home this evening, I remember thinking that I was having the intellectual time of my life.

-Ed