Learning to Use The "N" Word

I've finally done it. I've learned to use the dreaded "n" word. For the first time in my life I've had to utter it loud and clear to take a stand for what I have come to believe in and where I want my life to go.

I've done it.

I've said NO to something. I have refused an activity. I've turned down an offer.

No. No. No. No. No. No.

What did I say NO to?

Linda and I loved our weekend engaged encounter retreat. It's a weekend of relationship reflection that all couples must go through before they are married in the Catholic Church (you can do other things to meet the requirement, like night classes too). Alot of friends and coworkers always roll their eyes about the retreat, some scoff at it, others find ways to not have to do it at all.

Linda and I looked forward to it, and we had a blast. We wrote our little hands off and discussed each topic until "time" was out and we had to move on to the next one. It was a relationship retreat and as much as we communicate on a regular basis, it really did add something to our understanding of each other.

So, afterward, we kept in touch with the group that runs them and several months ago (almost a year now) we were asked if we wanted to help host them. We kept putting it off, liking very much the idea of presentingat the retreat, but knowing there was so much to do to learn *how* to be a good presenter.

We finally decided "no". We have too many things in our lives and I am sure they are not hurting for good couples.

So, mark this day. After almost a year of debate, Linda has gotten me to say no to something. Who knows... maybe the next no could come even sooner..perhaps after 8 months of debate. It seems such a slippery slope that, if I were not careful, I could be saying no to things after mere weeks of ponderance. Such negative haste is too unlike me.I won't let that happen. No.

Ack..another no... It's begun...

What's That Buzz

I bought something on Saturday. My friend helped me load it from the store onto his truck and then into my garage.

I'll give you some hints as to what it is...

It's silvery, grey and green.

It has a 5/8" arbor.
It has a 10" blade.
It comes with a Dado throat plate.
It has a 3hp v-belt drive on 15 amp service.
It makes men cry.

What could this possibly be?



A table saw !

How did I manage to talk Linda into letting me get a table saw?!?! Well, you don't get good tools without some smooth talkin'. Listen up guys, and maybe you'll learn something from Ed Bigelo, Power Tool Gigelo.

Linda: Why do you want a table saw?
Ed: To cut things like... this piece of wood!
Linda: Can't you cut that on your mitre saw?
Ed: Oops. Yup. You're right.
Linda: Why do you want a table saw?
Ed: To cut things like... this piece of wood!
Linda: Can't you cut that by putting up 2 saw horses and using your circular saw?
Ed: Oops. Yup. You're right.
Linda: Why do you want a table saw?
Ed: ***crying like a baby*** PLEASE let me buy one. pleasepleasepleaseplease

See. Sometimes you need to show them who's boss. Upon letting a fellow friend know that I got a table saw, that conversation went something like this:

Ed: I got a table saw!
Friend: Great! What will you build!
Ed: A workshop! I can use it to help make my workbench and cabinets and shelving units.
Friend: Great! But, then what will you build?
Ed: What do you mean? I have the table saw and I will use it to build a wood-working workshop. I will be able to build lots of things.
Friend: Great! But, then what will you build with this wood-working workshop?
Ed: What do you mean? I will have a workshop and use it to build things.
Friend: Name one thing you would build after you build your workshop thus justifying why you built the workshop to begin with.
Ed: ***crying like a baby*** PLEASE look up to me for owning one. pleasepleasepleaseplease

Where in the World is Ed

Short entry...

Sometimes I get e-mails from some random friends and family members who occaisionally peruse my blog. Just to be general about it, let's call these people "my mother".

Sometimes, these e-mails will point out or expand upon some train of thought put forth in a blogentry of mine. Again, to generalize, let's say the e-mails are about my horrid abuse of tense and spelling.

Some of it is not my fault. I'll let you in on a secret...

If I am blogging from my laptop, you will see lots of missing "k"s. Why? I have no idea. Some anonymous piece of mung has worked its way under my "k" key and, 9 times out of 10, I get no K.

If I am blogging from my home desktop computer you will see lots of words run together. Why? Either my thumbs have gotten horribly weak or the spacebar on my home computer is broken. I really have to hit the spacebar right to get a space.

If you see K's and spaces but nothing makes any sense, I am using my work computer and am trying to aqueeze off a blog entry before any officemates notice I am not working.

If you see a combination of the above then, clearly, I am in 3 places at once.

Do I Write Only Upon Insight?

I would imagine this is the dilemma every blogger faces when trying to write down something interesting about their life: Do you write only upon insight?

What makes a good blog entry? Humorous quips? pictures and links? A laundry list of what one did during the day?

Are our collective blogs a bit like digital sermons, trying to relate some insight or life parable for an anonymous readership?

In short, does a blogger have any kind of responsibility to anyone other then themselves?

No. I went over this before. This digital space belongs to me, it is my Doogie Howser laptop where I write my little Doogie Howser life lessons. I even turn on the Doogie Howser theme song when I type this stuff up. It's supposed to be my electronic diary.

But, if that is the case, why do I look at that annoying page count at the bottom of the web page (keep scrolling, you'll see it...)? Why do I censor my entries because this person or that might be lurking on here? Why do I feel so happy when friends e-mail me saying "hey, I like your blog..."

Why? Because. Because this medium isn't the one-way street it originally promised to be. There is always a hope that not only am I ventyping (new word) but I am communicating Even in a setting as self-serving as my tar pit there is a responsibiltiy inherent in communicating.

And, perhaps, it is in trying to rise to that responsibility that one finds the real theraputic value in blogging. The quest is to find an interesting blog entry. The prize is finding insight in one's day to day life.

So, apparently, I must forget the question "Should I write only when I have insight", and recognize that most of the time I have the insight because I try to write.

Pennies from Heaven

About a month ago Linda and I received our tax refunds. Nothing super, but money from the government is always appreciated. So we were a little bit surprised to see, last week, a mail from the government. Opening it, we saw another tax refund check. Now, I know that I'm not the greatest at math, but I know enough to know that 3 refund checks are too many.

Yesterday, we got an explanation in the mail. Apparently, we paid too much money in 2003. Not only do we like getting money back from the government when it is expected, it is nice to know that the government will actually give you money back if you overpaid! Thanks for the honesty IRS, it is appreciated!

-Ed

How to Relax

A three day weekend! I've never been so ready for a three day weekend in my life! Saturday is deck work, weather permitting, and a good friend's 31st birthday. Sunday is family and a bushel of crabs! Monday is computer games and sleeping late. I can't wait.

In two weeks, Linda and I will be cruising the Carribean, and after the year we have had so far, we are counting the minutes!

Sorry for not posting anything more regularly, but work and home projects have eaten any energy I would otherwise have to blog. I don't think we have fully recovered from the amount of work we did before Mother's Day.

-Ed

ps. The treadmill is working out great...you know, once we got all the dust off of it. 8)

On Exercise

I would like to show you the most incredible exercise machine ever invented. This device does more for your health than any other exercise device in your home. It will burn more calories than items costing thousands of dollars and purchased at any major fitness store.

What is this miracle device? Let me show you...



How can this be? How can a chair give you more of a workout than that $800 elliptical machine in your basement? Let's perform an experiment:

1. Grab a piece of paper.
2. Grab a pencil.
3. Write down the number of times you touch a chair in your house.
4. Write down the number of times you even thought of maybe getting close enough to possibly graze the elliptical machine if you were to accidentally fall down.

This has led me to a universal truth: exercise machines are scultures. They represent our fixation on image. The dust on them represents our inability to prioritize them. But, who prioritizes art anyway? Who says "Sorry, I can't eat that hamburger, I need to go spend time with my Van Gogh?"

A little while ago, Linda and I decided to start our own exercise art collection. We would need a treadmill, some free weights, an exercise machine and, maybe, an elliptical machine if we had room for it. Maybe, also a rowing machine. But, this would cost thousands!

Why not go to a gym? I'll tell you why. If you walk into a gym you have to do something. If you walk into the exercise room you can turn around, walk upstairs, and drink a Coke and call some family member for 45 minutes. Nope. Can't do that in a gym. So, to hell with gyms. What do they know about high art anyway?

No, we need a home gym. We need an art collection. But, this turned out to be easier than we planned. As, in this medium there are many patrons.

One family member readily offered his exercise bike. He hadn't used it in a while. Another family member offered up her treadmill which had not been used in a year or two. Still, a third friend has been more than happy to get rid of that weight bench and weights as he makes room in his house for other things.

By the end of the week we will have our own gallery of sculpture, the "Ed and Linda Collection", a dedication to a movement we like to call "post-optimism".

The Bachelor Party, Deux

The bachelor party was had on Saturday. We had a good showing. We introduced el groomero uno to some good old-fashioned backyard grilling and the wonders of over-imbibing cognac. We rented a terrific van and took him out for a night on the town, and then carried him back into the house that evening for a good nights sleep on our couch.

Upon questioning in the morning he liked himself. Based on the headache he had after walking around for a while, I feel satisfied that he liked himself just barely.

Pictures of the van to follow. Pictures of the groom to follow unless the ransom is paid.

Hard Core Journalism

Let me relate a paragraph from our friends at CNN :

The power generators, like giant, orange sausages floating on water, will use wave motion to produce electricity by pumping high-pressure fluids to motors, Norsk Hydro AS said. source

Now, someone needs to tell this reporter that "giant orange sausages floating on water" do not, actually, produce electricity by any mean whatsoever, and least of all through the pumping of high-pressure fluids. Therefore, if these new power generators were to produce electricy just like those giant, orange sausages then, in fact, they will not produce electricity at all.

It's these little details one needs to look at when one is looking to invest in hydro power generator companies, I suppose.

Until then, keep reading the free internet news. It is worthy every penny.

-Ed

The Accessability of Star Wars

I was talking with a friend today at lunch about the Revenge of the Sith movie. One of the reasons we love the Star Wars universe is because of how simple its complexity is. It is a breadth-first universe which allows fans to add personalized rationalizations as they seek depth in any given area. It is customizable science fiction. It is, therefore, accessibile to all people.

This is, in my opinion, a good thing. It reminds me of some cartoons I have "read" from different countries that have no words at all. The humor is conveyed through pictures which allows everyone to "get it". An example? Here is a sample of work from Guillermo Mordillo, a cartoonist whose humor crosses every nationality:




Revenge of the Sith works without the dialog, and that is part of its magic. In fact, certain parts of the movie work better with no sound at all (the love scenes).

This led to an interesting hypothesis: perhaps the movie would be just as enjoyable if we had watched it after it had been dubbed into a different language. Tell me if you can't envision the following exchange:

Lackey: Mr. Lucas we had a mix-up.

Lucas: Egad, what has happened? Should I reshoot episode I?

Lackey: Uh.. no. That isn't scheduled until 2010, sir. We mixed up our audio reels. We sent the French audio to the US theaters and the English audio to France.

Lucas: This is a disaster. What are we going to do?

Lackey: Well, uh, actually, with the mixed-up audio, *squirm* critics are saying this is the best Star Wars movie you've released in 10 years.

-Ed

Deep apologies to all Star Wars fans who read this.

Revenge of the Sith

I have faithfully recovered my street geek credentials. How do you get geek street credit? You gotta kill something, man. And kill I did. I killed hours of my evening last night watching Revenge of the Sith. In case you were living under a rock for the past year, this is the last part of the post-trilogy prequel...

First off: without question, Revenge of the Sith was the *best* of the three latest star wars movies, by far. And I liked the movie alot. All in all, good job, Georgie.

Read on without fear, there are no spoilers in this blog entry, and there are two reasons for this:

1) You already know EVERYTHING that is going to happen.
2) See number 1.

George Lucas had to figure out how to make this movie interesting. How does he do this? He has tried something that no other director in the history of directing has ever done before. He has broken new ground. He has added new incantations to modern day movie magic.

What has he done? How has he found a way to add brilliance to a script whose every plot twist was locked in stone and vastly publicized 20 years ago?

He employed a dead turnip to write a few 20-second love scenes throughout the movie.



Since the incesption of the moving picture, fruits and vegetables have been relegated to simple "comic relief" and "atmosphere" shots. Rarely, if ever, do these unpaid actors get the chance to actually participate in the creative process.

Kudos to Mr. Lucas for creating an "in" for the world's most literary vegetable: the turnip. It is nice to know that Star Wars - Episode III is not just pushing the boundaries in digital presentation.

Now, you might ask, how do I know that a turnip wrote the love scenes? And, especially, how do I know it was a dead turnip? The proof, as they say, is in the pudding.


What follows are some lines from the movie
(not verbatim, but close enough)
They are not spoilers.
They have not been taken out of context,
as they never had a context


Pouty Anakin: You are beautiful.
Padme: I am beautiful because I love you.
Pouty Anakin: You are beautiful because I love you.
Padme: angry and shocked Has love made you blind?!
Pouty Anaking: Huh?

See? Dead turnip. Also, only a dead turnip would have Padme name her husband/lover after Little Orphan Annie.





If I were little, and an orphan, and my girl kept calling me "Annie", I would probably run as fast as I could to the dark side, too.

So, the love scenes could have been light-sabered out of the flick with no negative impact whatsoever. Let me tell you, I am far from the "pimply teenage boy" who scoffs at love scenes because he has never had anything in his life which allows him to relate to them. I've had good love scenes in my life and bad love scenes in my life, and none of them even come close to approaching what this dead turnip called a love scene.

Aside from that, the movie is action packed, pretty entertaining, and you know the director's cut will be much longer and even cooler.

I'd give the movie a B+. Only the shadow of the 4th and 5th movie in the series keep it from being a solid A-.

But as people in the industry know, George Lucas is a master at making sure sequels are always better than the original. His secret? Shoot the sequels first...

-Ed

Epitath

Wow. My last several posts have been way long. Perhaps my epitath should be:

Ed, writer of words, editor of none.

-Ed

Um.. Uh. Well.. You See...

In college I had a professor who was often cranky. Watching timid pupils, made more timid by a cranky professor, approach him with their question du jour was like watching an early Christian walk into an arena and wonder "who brought all these lions?" Indubitably, their question would begin with "um". Let me give you some examples:

- Um, can I find out what grade I got on my test?
- Um, uh, what was the homework from last week?
- *cough* could I, um, have some, like, extra credit?

The professorial response was consistent:

Don't say um. Um means "I'm stupid and so is my question".

See? I told you. Cranky.


So why am I remembering my halcion days of professorial perturbence? Why, I've been reading, of course. And recently I read an article on the subject of our friend um .

Apparently, research is showing that um, uh, like and other similar utterances are, indeed, not signs of impending, irreversible retardation.

These noises (which people in the business call disfluencies -- and no, it doesn't just mean stuttering) are being examined by those trying to make computers understand speech (and in the process, wind up learning a little bit about speech themselves). There are many kinds of disfluencies.

It is easiest to convey the idea using this portion of the abstract of the research paper that originally educated me on most of this:

This paper investigates the effect of disfluencies on listeners' on-line processing of speech. More specifically, it tests the hypothesis that filled pauses like um, which tend to occur before words that are low in accessibility, act as a signal to the listener that a relatively inaccessible word is about to be produced.

So, when that timid student walked up to that cranky professor with his or her "um", it was an introduction? Like a phone ringing? Or a car with it's hazards on? An unintelligible introduction? A "danger, Will Robinson?" I'd believe it.

But, not um! Anything but um! We've been taught never to say the dreaded "U to the M". Depending on your age: nuns beat you, teachers looked down at you, financial institutions would refuse to lend to you, fast-food joints would shun you, and whole rooms would be cleared with the utterance of um.

And yet research is showing that we must conceive of some way to fill the necessary pregnant pauses in our conversations. We need a mechanism to signal our listener to start paying closer attention. We need a mechanism to buy us a few milliseconds while we compose our own thoughts. Is there any other disfluency that will do this dirty work as well as the infamous um??

Yes! We can be very creative!

I don't use um much, preferring either well, hmmm, or even a you know. People that overuse um, in my mind, are just not creative speakers.

People that steadfastly refuse to use any disfluency, preferring instead to leave their pregnant pauses unaccompanied and alone amidst the conversation, are selfish speakers. Their need to appear educated through avoidance of disfluency trumps the possible valid usage of the mechanism to aid the listener.

Some people are just such motivational speakers that they leave no pregnant pauses. They can think and speak in real time, and use inflection and facial cues to alert the listener to important or "relatively inaccessible" words that will be encountered "up the road". But few people sustain that conversational energy throughout every conversation in their life.

Most of us fall into the category of "occasional disfluency user". But, watch out, people can tell alot about you based on what kind of disfluency you use!

Whatever kind of speaker you tend to be, do not be the kind of speaker who adopts condescending disfluency.

Talker: blah blah blah
Listener: But what about X, Y, and Z?
Talker: (pause) What you don't understand is (pause) (pause) blah blah blah
Listener: But what about A, B, and C?
Talker: (pause) What you need to realize is (pause) (pause) blah blah blah

And so on and so forth. The listener brought up good points (if the listener does say so himself) and points which obviously made the talker think. How does the talker create space in which to think? This talker is far too important to use the dreaded, uneducated um, and must maintain dominance in the subject matter. So, you whip out the (what I call) disfluent phrases: what you need to realize is, or what you fail to understand is.

People that need to make thinking space for themselves while, simultaneously, degrading others should be slapped silly. How hard is it to say, alternatively, "well, maybe a better way to think of this is..." that has the advantage of taking longer to say, and if you say it slowly enough, you can get your thoughts arranged and then go right into it them without audible pause. Never insult your listener and then making them wait while you frantically try and think of something clever to say.

So, uh, what was the point of my post again?

People that use disfluencies aren't stupid. If you take the time to recognize the disfluencies and disfluent phrases you and those around you use, you might learn something about them. Avoid (or educate) people who use abusive disfluencies and learn to appreciate those who use positive ones.


Um... uh... check out the Disfluency in Spontaneoud Speech homepage. Ever wonder what vigorous research into the use of disfluency in spontaneous speech looks like? Well, here it is:



Those are some hard-working people.

-Ed

A Playstation Mind

From our friends at CNN comes the story of a man:



This man is a piano virtuoso. It is postulated that the intense pressure of playing the piano caused a psychotic break for this speechless master. I was completely taken by the look of deep saddness, and the hint of genius, in his eyes. Surely this is no crazy person, surely this is a publicity stunt.

I could only imagine the stresses of playing the piano at his level. I was a piano hack in elementary school and barely learned to bang out chopsticks before wanting to remove tufts of my own hair.

Try it yourself and play a java piano . Alternatively, if you have the courage, look deep into these maddening keys:



These memories... they made me do a little soul searching.


What other endeavors of man put such performance pressure on timid souls?


What other common activity requires the pressing of buttons, with just the right pressure, at just the right time, using combinations and reflex and muscle memory to guide you through to victory?


A long pause,


then a thought:





Clearly only console gaming approaches the complexity of piano mastery. The playstation II controller has 14 pressure-sensitive buttons.

So what, you might say. A piano has 88 keys.

Yes, but a playstation controller button is, on average, 10 times smaller than a piano key. This means that these buttons are 10 times harder to hit than a piano key.

Based on my calculations, then, a playstation game is approximately 59% harder to play than a piano.

Based on my current success (or lack thereof) with Hot Shots Golf FORE! you may soon see my speechless visiage wandering downtown London, scribbling pictures of a television to any who would look at it. Although, truth be told, this will soon be a common site, with today's Playstation 3 product unveiling.

-Ed

If you keep building it...

So, a few years ago, dissatisfied with just building ethereal things, and burdened with new home ownership, I started to learn how to build and fix real-world things. Linda's brothers are a handy lot and they are always willing to teach you how to do something, even when you know nothing.

I still remember a conversation I had with Linda's brother Bruce upon my trying to change an outlet in my townhouse...

Ed: How do I change an outlet?
Bruce: Unscrew the face plate.
Ed: Oops... let me get a screwdriver. Hold on a sec.
pause
Ed: Now what?
Bruce: Unscrew the face plate.
Ed: Got it.
Bruce: Did you turn the power off to the outlet?
Ed: How can I tell that?
Bruce: Try to plug something in.
Ed: Oh. I need to turn off power to the outlet. Hold on a sec.
pause
Ed: Oops. Wrong one.
pause
Ed: Oops. Wrong one.
pause
Ed: Oops. Wrong one.
pause
Ed: Oops. Wrong one.
pause
Ed: Oops. Wrong one.
pause
Ed: Oops. Wrong one.
pause
Ed: Got it!
Bruce: Now, unscrew the outlet, snip off the ends. Do you see a white, black and cooper wire?
Ed: Done, and I see them.
Bruce: Do you see a white and black wire on the new outlet?
Ed: Yup.
Bruce: Good. Hook it up and use wire nuts.
Ed: Which go with which?
Bruce: The white wire goes with the white wire. The black wire goes with the black wire. The copper wire attaches to the green screw.
Ed: Ok. Got it.

I think I had Bruce on the phone for 30 minutes walking me through the process. That conversation seems like a lifetime ago. In the past two years I've read so many magazine articles, learned form the father and brothers, and done so many things that people are starting to ask me for advice! Lord help them...

In just the past few weeks/months, I've gotten:

- Can you mix 14-2 and 12-2 electrical wire?

- Can you fix the steps to my deck?

- I need someone to take out my kitchen countertops, can you help?

- This wooden toy gun broke, will you fix it?

- Can you help me put in attic steps?

Sometimes the answer is yes, and sometimes the answer is no. Most of the time I'm just thrilled to be asked (being thrilled has no bearing on the answering of yes or no).

How does one learn how to do these things? Necessity. I remember when doing the screend-in porch for Mother's Day, I wanted to rescreen the porch. As the deadline approached and we were running out of time, I started thinking to myself... "self, the holes in the screening aren't too bad". Shocked, I immediately went around tearing out all the screens (instead of doing them one by one).

There. Instant necessity. We needed to put in new screens.

Three nano-seconds later came the "Holy Krap, how am I going to get this done". But, that might be the secret of goal-oriented growth: thinking second. 8)

-Ed

If you build it...

Ever since I was a kid I liked to build things. In truth, that unquenchable desire to create create create was what propelled me into software engineering. When you write software you are a god (lower case g), you breathe life into your digital golems after having constructed every last logical detail. Look in the very upper right-hand corner of this window.... See that X? It's not an X because you wanted it to be an X. It's an X because some software guy wanted it to be an X. 8)

I have found, however, that it is hard to maintain the enthusiasm of creation for creation's sake. Worse, with software it is difficult to produce a tangible product that can be appreciated by friends and family. I envision the following fictional conversation with my mom (sorry to pick on you, mom)

Mom B: Hi.
Ed, breathless: You'll never believe what happened!
Mom B: What! Is everything OK?
Ed, breathless: I did it! I was finally able to code my priority search in O(nlgn) and with a little lazy initialization and pointer arithmetic I've made my 50 microsecond deadline! Do you know what this means?!
Mom B: No. You have a lazy what?
Ed, breathless: It means I might have enough spare cycles to run regular housekeeping instead of having to rely on resource timeouts to replenish my pool.
Mom B: You want me to housekeep your pool?
Ed, breathless: Sorry. No time to talk. I've gotta go!

Software is far too ethereal and masked in its own terminology to be accessible. Seeking praise for accomplishments outside the software community is very difficult. Let's try that conversation again, in a different vein:

Mom B: Hi.
Ed, breathless: You'll never believe what happened!
Mom B: What! Is everything OK?
Ed, breathless: I did it! I built a small table.
Mom B: Really? That's terrific!
Ed, breathless: I made it out of wood, and glue, and gave it round edges.
Mom B: What color did you stain it?
Ed, breathless: A light red. I keep it in my office to hold digital camera accessories.
Mom B: I'm so proud of you!


See? Totally different.

-Ed

Speech Writing

A friend of mine e-mailed me recently and asked:

Any advice for writing a good speech?

I suppressed my initial reply:

Grow up in a family of Italians and lawyers.

Unexpected Lessons

I want to remind myself about a lesson I learned from a book called the "Celestine Prophecy", written by a guy named James Redfield. I went to the local Barnes and Noble a few days agotopickup a copy of this book to give to a friend.

Before getting into that shopping trip, let me summarize the book: the book tells the story of the author's learning of, and subsequent search for, an ancient manuscript that details a spiritual and emotional renaissance to happen during our present day. Yeah, I know, it sounds like a G rated after-school special written by the contestents on "The Apprentice".

The book is fiction, and the "manuscript" is a handy vehicle for introducing the author's core beliefs on life, relationships, spirituality, and attitude. You see, this is a self-help book in disguise (because people who really need help rarely purchase self-help books).

I highly recommend checking out this book. One can probably tear through it in a day and it might teach you something and, quite possibly, it might not. But it is written with an enthusiasm that makes it entertaining either way. Certainly, reading it is no worse than watching young women eat bugs.

Personally, about two lifetimes ago it taught me a great deal, but I was, admittedly, quite behind the curve. This book gave me a vocabulary and introduction to perspective whose absense in my life, at the time, was the cause of much horror.

Enough about the book... On to the unexpected lesson...

The first insight in this ancient manuscript deals with starting to notice coincidences in your life that seem more meaningful and more frequent than what one would ascribe to chance.

That thar above paragraph is what we call forshadowing. 8)

...

Linda and I do not pretend to have the same interests in books and when we go into the local Barnes and Noble we split up and hit our respective interests. When one of us gets tired, we find the other and head home with any purchases. So, upon enteringthe ol' B&N to buy this book Linda immediately heads to parts unknown and I begin my search for "The Celestine Prophecy".

At the time, I did not know (or had forgotten) that is was listed in the Fiction section. I had also forgotten the name of the author. This is not a good way to start looking for a book in a book store.

Do I ask directions? Never. I start in the self-help section. No luck. I move over to philosophy. No luck. Alternative medicine. Nothing. Self improvement (which, apparently, is different than self-help). Nada. I spy a New Age section and look over there. Nyet.

I spent at least 20 minutes fruitlessly searching for this book. Was it out of print? How could it not bein the new age section?? And what the hell was I doing in the new age section anyway?

Finally, I relinquished my masculinity and asked for directions:
Me: Hi, could you help me find a ...
Disgruntled Employee: name.
Me: The Celestine prophec...
Disgruntled Employee: how do you spell it?
Me: C E L E S T I N E P R O P H E C Y, T H E
Disgruntled Employee: type type type
Me: wait wait wait

Then the disgruntled employee, wordlessly, walks away. I assume I am to follow as I will either find my book or become a stalker. She walks into the Fiction section, turns down an aisle and stoops next to a pillar and a chair (B&N has chairs in the aisles where people can sit and read).

She points to the bottom row, and I say thank you, and she goes back to help her next victim.

Isn't that amazing! No? Oh, I forgot something...

The chair two feet from the book I was looking for was occupied! By who? James Redfield? James Brown? James and the Giant Peach? No.

Linda was sitting there! I had spent 20 minutes looking for this silly book and Linda, randomly walking through the store, decided to plop down two feet away from it. Amazing!

Remember that little forshadowing I talked about above? This little trick of chance had me thinking about it... Those are the kinds of coincidences the book is talking about!

Now, do I believe that this was a cosmically engineered series of events that falls in line with the cosmic powers alluded to in the Celestine Prophecy? No. I don't believe that. If I ever say I believe that, you may hit me with a stick. Frankly, anyone who knows meknows Iwould rathereat a tube of toothpaste than suffer through most new age "stuff".

So why am I stoked? Shed the new-agy terminology and the celestine prophecy is full of good insights. I have rewritten that first insight for myself. It goes something like this:

Amazing things happen to you every day, you need to be observant and creative enough to recognize, personalize, and draw meaning from those events.

And that is why the book is so cool: the lessons are simple and easily personalizable. It was an unexpected lesson that, going to buy this book for another, I would be reminded of how a smart and creative person can learn from anything, even from things note normally communicated from within their "comfort zone".

Of course, a few people hate the celestine prophecy. Personally, I must admit that, by the end when people are vibrating onto different planes of existence either ourfriend James has taken his metaphor too far or didn't take his medication far enough.

It's a good book. Take from it what you can and use it as a springboard for further study, it is not a work in itself. Rather, it is an interesting and entertaining table of contents.

The Big Day!

A very long time ago I posted that Linda and I host Mother's Day at our house. I was slightly incorrect in saying that. We don't host the party. We home-improve, feast-build and serve for our family. That might be different than hosting (or, it might not).

What are the results of this labor? A good time! And what a time we had!

We don't have the biggest house in our family. We certainly aren't always the closest (distance wise), but people love it when they hear "Ed and Linda are having a party!!!". It makes me so proud that our house is a home to anyone who steps inside.

People began to show up as early as 2pm. The latest cake-eating, fresh-from-the-hot-tub aunts and brothers and mothers did not say their final goodnights until 1:30am. Linda's parents where there for the whole 11.5 hours. My mom was there a good 7 hours at least. It was everything we could have possible hoped for. Almost 30 people over a span of 11.5 hours!

We'll be spending the next few month's apologizing to our neighbors! Three pitchers of blue whales, two pitchers of margaritas, two pitchers of pina coladas, and a hot tub stuffed to the gills does not all add up to a silent evening!

Did we over-buy on food? Absolutely -- especially given the cakes, salads, soups, and fruit that others brought. But, I'm Italian. A get-together is a feast, and you just can't be a good host if you don't overwhelm with food! I was stuck on grill duty from 3:30pm-5:30pm! Brats, burgers, chicken, porkchops.. We made Hank Hill proud.




The screened in porch, with its 4 tubes of caulk, 7 pressure-treated 2x4 replacements, new screens, and new paint job was a big hit, and had a steady stream of people in it throughout the day.




And the patio was a hit too, especially for the kids after we lit up the outdoor fireplace.




At some point we all took bets on the horse race, you pay a dollar and you get to pick a random horse number. Linda's mom won the 50-1 shot. Unfortunately, we don't pay on odds in our house!

Our neighborhood friends (you know, the house with the hot and cold running cabo-wabo) were having a cinco-de-mayo party on the same day and several of my college buddies stopped in to say hi to my mom. It was really touching that they would go out of their way to wish her a happy Mother's Day. My mom made her house open to all of my college friends, and we had many, many parties there "back in the day". It made her day to know that some of them still remembered she was there. Thank you very much for all who poked their head in.


The next day I got the following e-mail from my mom, which started:

I just wanted to thank you all for the beautiful Mother's Day gifts...Eddie and Linda, yesterday was lovely..you go to such lengths to entertain people, to make them feel at home...and they certainly do.

Recognition of hard work is nice to have. But, far greater, is knowing that the environment you try so hard to create in your home, for your family, has actually paid off.

Happy Mother's Day to all.

-Ed

The Finished Patio

You put the paver in,
You pull the paver out,
You put the paver in and you shake it all about.
You use the rubber mallet to pound flat the sandy mound,
Until you're tired out!




But what fun is a patio without steps? How hard can steps possibly be? Well, that all depends on whether you are an overachiever or not. A set of pre-built stringers and 2x10 pieces of wood would go up in about 30 minutes. 4x4 lumber and patio pavers to make steps that match the patio? Well, now we're talkin' a day or two (and 25 lag screws).

No comment is necessary...





At the end of the day, after weeks of hard work, the patio, she is truly finished. Allow me the indulgence of a before/after set of pictures:

Before


After



We did it.

-Ed

ps. You might also notice, comparing the pictures above, that we painted the screened-in porch, inside and out. Why? We had a few nanoseconds of free time before mother's day and thought it would be a good idea to fix gaps, repaint, and re-screen the porch. Here's a picture of linda, gung-ho in our last-minute addition to our todo-list. You can see my sister, kathy, in the background. She made the mistake of asking "Is there anything I can help with?" 8)

The Finished Retaining Wall

Previously, I had said before that the hardest part of building a retaining wall is getting that first row level.

I was right (of course) and I was wrong (of course). Once you get the first row dug in and level:



it then takes noticable effort to pick bricks that match well next to one another.

Why?

These bricks are like snowflakes. Big, heavy, concrete snowflakes. How? Every one is different.

After much effort, though, you get a wall that is snug and (hopefully) will stay that way.



"Big deal," you say. "You have a wall. Anyone can build a wall." and that's true. But tell me this: How many people can then backfill that wall with a few tons of mulch in an hour and the plant it before the cold, rainy drizzle comes? That's the real trick. And pulling it off involves having parents who are gardens.




And finally, visually, I can answer my mom's question of "why build a retaining wall"
(an inquiry she vehemently disavows)...

It's all about the garden.



-- recap --

A few days ago I noticed that a strange man was standing on my lawn staring at the retaining wall, walking back and forth in front of it, pushing on the stones, trying to wiggle his finger between the cracks.... Generally quite odd things. The ensuing conversation went something like this:

Ed: Hello? Can I help you?

Stranger On My lawn: Oh.. Hi. Sorry, I was just admiring your retaining wall.

Ed: Thank you! We just finished it. It was alot of work!

Stranger On My lawn: You did this yourself?

Ed: My wife and I. Yup!

Stranger On My lawn: That's amazing! I do this for a living. I'm a landscape architect and just came over to admire the work. You really matched the stones well.

This guy just went from stranger to instant friend. 8) Well, maybe not instance friend because I can't remember his name, but a hearty acquaintance nonetheless.

We spent the next 10 minutes chatting about mulch, drainage, and types of retaining wall flora. All in all it was a good encounter, and it's nice to know you've got a landscape architect in the neighborhood.

-Ed

A quick momism

I need to communicate a brief telephone conversation I had a week or two ago with my mom. I have been meaning to write about it for a while, because I found it very funny. I'm too busy at work now to add any meaningful commentary beyond simple recollection.

Ed: We are working on putting in the retaining wall now.

Mom: A retaining wall? Where?

Ed: In front of the house, where we have that big hill.

Mom: Why would you do that?

Ed: So we don't have to keep mowing that horrible hill, and it will give Linda some gardening space.

Mom: Oh...Ok, but, I mean... are you going to like the way it looks?

It's good to know that no matter how old I get, what I learn, or what I do, my mom will always be able to stump me.

-Ed

ps. She likes the way it looks very much.

A dearth of Postings

Mother's Day is Saturday. This week we have repainted the screened-in porch (inside and out), and fixed several structural problems with the screened in porch (you kinda wonder how wasps get into your porch until you find 15 or so 2" gaps in the wood...)

We ripped all the screens out of the screened in porch, and are in the process or replacing them. We'll get that done tonight. Linda and I both hurt. There are parts of our bodies neither of us can move. I look forward to going to work just to escape the manual labor.

Thanks to all family who have helped us out this past month. I'm not sure why we wanted to take on so much, but the results have been stunning.

Pictures and witty commentary will most likely return on Sunday.

-Ed

Dory?

The run-away bride from Georgia was found. yeah, yeah.. she got cold feet and fled the state. Rumors have it that she had done this at least 2 times before to 2 other poor guys.

Alot of people are angry at her. She wasted alot of police resources and, it seems, scared the dickens out of several loved ones.

Don't judge her too quickly. I just noticed something:



I've got to go to the wedding! The Wedding! I love weddings. I love white.

Snow! Snow! I love snow! It never snows in Mexico.

I'll go to Mexico! It'll be fun! A vacation! It's so new there.

New! ... New ... Oh, I am forgetting something.. Oh, I got it! I was going to New Mexico! Phew. And for a minute I thought I was going to be in trouble...

-Ed

Who is John Titor?

Why, a time traveler from 2036 who came back in time to retrieve an IBM 5110 computer that his grandfather worked on in 1975. He then "jetted" to 2000, where he posted to some newsgroups before zipping back to the future.

And no, this guy was not played by Kevin Spacey in a movie. 8)

This guy is a crackpot, but the read is very entertaining.

One things that he talks about is the "fact" that the multiverse theory is correct and prevents any paradoxes in time travel.

What is the multiverse theory? Simply put that whenever something, some event, some decision, can go either way, it actually goes ALL ways, creating several different universes, each one slightly different than the rest. That's right, if multi-verse theory is right, somewhere, somehow, I am actually writing an entertaining blog...

It's a real theory and it's been great fodder for all kinds of science fiction for decades. How do I envision this? I think that if it is true, we must look like a plinko piece falling through time, with each decision possibly making us branch from our current "worldline" to a different one.




The fanciful question then becomes... "what if...?"

Is that why people make such a big deal out of "free will"? That our choices allow us to switch universes? With all due respect to sliders (a good TV show, if you ask me), would that be a marriage of theism and scientific skepticism?

Imagine, the mandate to "do good" is not an abstract, and not something that can be "made up" after the fact. But, at each decision of your life, good decisions or bad decisions cause your current consciousness to branch to a different universe, just slightly off from the one you had been on, and different from the universe you would be in if you had made a different choice.

Kinda puts a little pause in ones step, doesn't it?

-Ed

The thrills of being an extrovert

A very good friend of mine is getting married this summer. One of the things that is very exciting about this is that my friend is Indian and the wedding is going to be very culturally new to me. Based on what we have seen and heard (and researched) so far it is going to be fun, educational, and gorgeous.

This past weekend they had a small (pseudo-coed) bridal shower for the bride. Linda and I knew only, perhaps, 10% of the attendees. We were a little intimidated going into the party. Would we make friends? Would we be wall flowers? Would the photoshopped pictures I made of the groom with Barney the dinosaur, Michael Jackson, and Fabio be seen as funny or stupid?

Sometimes there is nothing to it but to do it. So, taking a deep breath, I walked into a kitchen full of people and just announced "Hi, I'm Ed (but not financially)". 5 hours, and lots of laughs later we were driving home relieved and energized.

I learned a couple of things that night.

- I'm better at ping pong than I thought.

- My group of friends does lots of fun things that other people don't do. Either that or we have pioneered adult weekend daycare for thirty-somethings.

- This groom-to-be knows alot of fun people (and he looked pretty good with Fabio).

-Ed

Mother's Day, T-6 days

Patio is DONE! Steps are DONE! 4 tons of dirts (er.. topsoil...) is SPREAD! Gardens are FILLING! 3 tons of mulch are coming TODAY!

We worked ourselves to the bone on Sunday. Screened in porch is half painted. The rest will be painted tonight. Maybe I'll be able to fix the screens too. The door to the deck, however, has been nixed due to lack of time. Curse you bad weather!

-Ed

Ps. Many thanks to my mom and Kathy for cleaning up our house and helping us paint. You two were terrific!