Welcome to my Annals
First things first: If you stumbled across this blog entry because its title happened to coincide with something you mis-typed into a web search engine... move along there is certainly nothing to see here.
Now, back to my annals...
I've tried to keep this blog centered on things that are weighing heavily on my mind at any one time or another. This is, of course, the catharsis that predicates the existence of this blog. but, many times I am reminded of some funny thing that I have done in the past and feel that this blog is as good a place as any to chronical my memoried adventures before the creeping dementia overtakes them.
Chronicle, the first: (thanks Dre)
A very good friend of mine is having a birthday party this weekend -- a birthday party that Linda and I will not be able to attend. In the invitation for this event he stipulated no gifts, please. As we all get older presence is far more important than presents -- a powerfully fond birthday memory is far greater than the latest playstation game or sock monkey.
Thinking of this particular friend, and parties, and gifts in general, I was reminded of another party that this person threw, many years ago: the house-warming for his condominium.
Now, i was very young then. And everyone knows that, as a species, we are all confoundedly dense until we turn 30 at which point wisdom and its accompanying depression set in like wild wolves. But I digress.. In my youthful density I was not aware of the social protocol of bearing gifts to help warm the condominium.
--What one should bring to a housewarming--
And I remained blissfully unaware of this social obligation until someone announced let the gift-giving begin! At the allotted time I watched -- with Hitchcockian horror -- as friend after friend pulled from someplace or another an endless supply of brightly wrapped presents. Boxes and bags and bows and ribbons gushed forth from the "company at large". Plowed back by the generosity assault I was pushed into a corner and there I sat -- staring mightily at my toes waiting for the sounds of crinkling, ripping paper to ebb.
--The cacophany of gifts--
As the presents were absorbed a rather sizeable pile of wrapping paper grew very near the guest of honor. Thinking quickly, I found a way to redeem myself as a house-warmer-of-merit. I announced, to no one in particular, that I was going to throw away the wrapping paper. Working quickly, I purloined several large sheets of the stuff, scotch tape still attached.
On my way to the kitchen (where the garbage can was located) I managed to secretly lift 3-4 CDs from my friend's CD rack. On the way back, I ducked into the bathroom.
-- Purloined CDs --
Quickly, I turned on the fan to disguise the crinkling sounds as I -- using the remains of the wrapping paper from previous gifts -- proceeded to wrap up the CDs of his that I stole from his CD rack. The paper, being from larger gifts, went around the jewel cases readily. A few courtesy flushes later, and I bounded from the bathroom with a stack of gifts and a bow. I was a new man, a contributing member of the house-warming society.
Disaster was narrowly averted.
So I handed my friend the list of gifts, and the exchange went something like this:
Ed: Happy Housewarming!
Friend: Wow! Ed, that's very generous. You didn't have to get me all this!
Ed: It was nothing. Believe me.
Friend: unwrap Wow! I love this band, but, I already have their CD.
Ed: Wow. I guess we just have similar taste in music.
Friend: unwrap Wow! I love this band, but, I already have their CD.
Ed: Wow. I guess we just have similar taste in music.
Friend: unwrap Wow! I love this band, but, I already have their CD.
Ed: Wow. I guess we just have similar taste in music.
Friend: unwrap Wow! I love this band, but, I already have their CD.
Ed: Wow. I guess we just have similar taste in music.
Friend: I guess so! That's amazing! I was just listening to this CD today! NO WAY! You'll never believe this, but my CD has this same crack in the jewel case. That's hysterical.
Ed: awkward silence
Friend:Hey, wait a minute. None of these CDs are shrink-wrapped.
Ed: crickets.... crickets...
Friend: These are my CD's, aren't they?
At which point, I had to point out to my friend that the gift I gave him for his housewarming was, indeed, the gift of humor. And, hopefully, I've given you all the same gift. So Happy Birthday! Feel free to visit this site whenever you feed that I owe you something.
8)
-Ed
Now, back to my annals...
I've tried to keep this blog centered on things that are weighing heavily on my mind at any one time or another. This is, of course, the catharsis that predicates the existence of this blog. but, many times I am reminded of some funny thing that I have done in the past and feel that this blog is as good a place as any to chronical my memoried adventures before the creeping dementia overtakes them.
Chronicle, the first: (thanks Dre)
A very good friend of mine is having a birthday party this weekend -- a birthday party that Linda and I will not be able to attend. In the invitation for this event he stipulated no gifts, please. As we all get older presence is far more important than presents -- a powerfully fond birthday memory is far greater than the latest playstation game or sock monkey.
Thinking of this particular friend, and parties, and gifts in general, I was reminded of another party that this person threw, many years ago: the house-warming for his condominium.
Now, i was very young then. And everyone knows that, as a species, we are all confoundedly dense until we turn 30 at which point wisdom and its accompanying depression set in like wild wolves. But I digress.. In my youthful density I was not aware of the social protocol of bearing gifts to help warm the condominium.
--What one should bring to a housewarming--
And I remained blissfully unaware of this social obligation until someone announced let the gift-giving begin! At the allotted time I watched -- with Hitchcockian horror -- as friend after friend pulled from someplace or another an endless supply of brightly wrapped presents. Boxes and bags and bows and ribbons gushed forth from the "company at large". Plowed back by the generosity assault I was pushed into a corner and there I sat -- staring mightily at my toes waiting for the sounds of crinkling, ripping paper to ebb.
--The cacophany of gifts--
As the presents were absorbed a rather sizeable pile of wrapping paper grew very near the guest of honor. Thinking quickly, I found a way to redeem myself as a house-warmer-of-merit. I announced, to no one in particular, that I was going to throw away the wrapping paper. Working quickly, I purloined several large sheets of the stuff, scotch tape still attached.
On my way to the kitchen (where the garbage can was located) I managed to secretly lift 3-4 CDs from my friend's CD rack. On the way back, I ducked into the bathroom.
-- Purloined CDs --
Quickly, I turned on the fan to disguise the crinkling sounds as I -- using the remains of the wrapping paper from previous gifts -- proceeded to wrap up the CDs of his that I stole from his CD rack. The paper, being from larger gifts, went around the jewel cases readily. A few courtesy flushes later, and I bounded from the bathroom with a stack of gifts and a bow. I was a new man, a contributing member of the house-warming society.
Disaster was narrowly averted.
So I handed my friend the list of gifts, and the exchange went something like this:
Ed: Happy Housewarming!
Friend: Wow! Ed, that's very generous. You didn't have to get me all this!
Ed: It was nothing. Believe me.
Friend: unwrap Wow! I love this band, but, I already have their CD.
Ed: Wow. I guess we just have similar taste in music.
Friend: unwrap Wow! I love this band, but, I already have their CD.
Ed: Wow. I guess we just have similar taste in music.
Friend: unwrap Wow! I love this band, but, I already have their CD.
Ed: Wow. I guess we just have similar taste in music.
Friend: unwrap Wow! I love this band, but, I already have their CD.
Ed: Wow. I guess we just have similar taste in music.
Friend: I guess so! That's amazing! I was just listening to this CD today! NO WAY! You'll never believe this, but my CD has this same crack in the jewel case. That's hysterical.
Ed: awkward silence
Friend:Hey, wait a minute. None of these CDs are shrink-wrapped.
Ed: crickets.... crickets...
Friend: These are my CD's, aren't they?
At which point, I had to point out to my friend that the gift I gave him for his housewarming was, indeed, the gift of humor. And, hopefully, I've given you all the same gift. So Happy Birthday! Feel free to visit this site whenever you feed that I owe you something.
8)
-Ed
posted by Ed at 10:52 PM
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