Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Nesting

People often talk about "nesting" when it comes to pregnant women. Nesting is the desire, onset during late pregnancy, to clean everything within ones house to the tiniest detail, sparing no minutae. It is sometimes coupled with the sweeping desire to refurnish, redecorate, or, more simply, re-locate.

How this behaviour became named after the avian practice of building habitats out of sticks, mud, and dung... I have no idea.

I had assumed that since Linda was having a pretty even-keel pregnancy I would have been spared the "nesting experience". Heh.. haha. hahahahahahah

I got a call one day at work from my eight-month-pregnant wife. She informed me, in military style, that the entire second floor of the house has been vacuumed, shampooed twice, and then vacuumed again. She then sent me a picture of a clean entryway into our bedroom along with orders that it stay that way for the next 47 years:



Yes, Linda took a picture of our bedroom floor.


Upon returning home that evening, I found Linda performing her next nesting project. Apparently, the tops of the furniture in the bedroom will have a tendency to gather dust every 4 or 5 months or so. This is unacceptable. The only way (clearly) to handle this difficult household problem is to hand-sew custom-fitted covers over every piece of furniture in the bedroom. What else is one to do?

Well, let me tell you... the only sane thing to do is head on down to the fabric store and get that needled threaded!



There comes a time in every pregnancy where the dad-to-be-must not question. Photo-document? yes. But never question.


"How, Ed", you might ask, "does one know if one's wife is nesting?"

It is important for every dad-to-be to be able to recognize this behaviour in his wife. It is imperative that the husband not interfere with this activity -- it is akin to waking a sleepwalker. Yes, this phenomenon, like a hurricane, requires some preparation. Items that could be seen as junk (game consoles, t-shirts, cats) could be swept away and never recovered. Early warning is our only defense.

So, study this picture. When your wife looks like this, run. It is best to have everything you value pre-packaged in a small tote to grab on the way out. It is usually safe to come back inside when you stop hearing the sound of cleaning appliances.



Don't fear until you see the whites of her eyes

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