um... wow

I could swear the last time I came up for air that is was still in early July. I apologize for being so absent. Life's been hectic (good hectic) lately.

I continue to clean the garage. Much pegboard has been sacrificed in the effort.

I continue to prepare the nursery. Much crown and chair molding, pooh stuff, trim, and paint and hours of friend's lives have been sacrificed in the effort.

I am working on 6 separate projects at work, some of which I just can't talk about. One thing I can talk about is that 3 of my research proposals are going to the last big hurdle before funding, and I am frantically, this weekend, trying to finish the rough draft of my conference paper.

One of the reasons I haven't blogged in a while is that I have been burnt out on the writing. Never let anyone try and convince you that scientific or other business writing is like writing for pleasure. It really, really isn't. Nevertheless, one really can get their fill of the written word.

Some things I want to write about are:

- an excellent friend baby shower that Linda and I were given a week ago.

- A friend of mine who dropped alot of weight recently, leading me to ponder the nature of goal-orientation and success in our lives

- Linda being away on vacation this weekend (I am stuck at home working on a big presentation Monday and... that dreaded conference paper) and remembering why I don't miss being a bachelor.

Hey, you know what I think would be a good idea? People who read this site whenever there is a new post should volunteer to "guest write" blog entries. It might be fun to have anothers perspective on here sometimes (those times being when I am away for a month at a time).

-Ed

ps. Oy... you can tell what mode I've been in when I need to write abstracts introducing upcoming blogs! I should tack schedule and cost estimates to them as well... 8)

life's a Beach

I am, right now, sitting in a beach chair on the beach at Ocean City. To my left a good friend and her baby are playing with plastic blocks. Looking out into the ocean other friend of mine are body surfing.

Linda is sitting in front of me reading with another pregnant friend who met us at the beach.

And I'm blogging from my blackberry like a dork. But in addition to this dorky behaviour I have my i-pod out and listening to some mellow tunes while being so surrounded by friends has brought me incredible peace.

And if you are reading this know that while I am sitting so at peace that I wish it to you too.

-Ed

Jurassic Park

Over the course of the past decade I have watched the movie Jurassic Park approximately 300 times. Let that sink in a moment... I have watched the movie Jurassic Park 300 times. Well...give or take a few.... That's alot of times to watch a movie. And... the real kicker? I have not done so willingly.

Confused? Me too..... but bear this one out.

What was it that made Jurassic Park... well... Jurassic Park? Laura Durn? Sam Neal? No. The gripping storyline? No. The Oscar-winning performances? No. The philosophical and ethical connundrums? No. So what was so durn special about this movie?

It's about the dinosaurs, stupid!



We wanted to see dinosaurs walk on modern earth... To see muscles rippling under lizard skin and teeth nashing, and chests going up and down with each dino breath. We came to see Raptors hop around and big T-Rexes galump after jeeps. Half-way through the movie those terrible lizards could have stopped, set up a table, and played Texas Hold-Em for the rest of the show and the box office would probably have seen no financial affect.

The Jurassic Park story was a means to an end. End? What end? This end: Get me dinosaurs on the screen.

Remember the hype when Jurassic Park came out? (if you are too young to remember the hype when Jurassic Park came out please do not tell me. I'm depressed enough about my age). It was a new era of filmography. This was a cinematic first! A new tool had been added to the story-telling arsenal! Jurassic Park wasn't a movie, it was a beta-test of a new technology.

And there is nothing wrong with that. But, the test is over. It passed with flying colors. I don't want to see this movie anymore. I've seen special effects. Very little wows me now because I, like most, believe that with a Hollywood budget you can make anything happen on screen.

So... why on earth have I seen this movie so many times? I keep getting duped into seeing it. How am I duped? They keep changing the name of the movie.

For example, on Friday I saw Jurassic Park twice in a single night. The first time, it was called "Superman". The second time it was called "Poseidon".

Warnings to you all, thar be spoilers below. But funny, rant-like spoilers.

This movie-as-technology-test has flattened the story arc. We don't want to know why anymore. We don't care. How did Lex get out of jail? Who was his benefactor and how did he befriend her? How did he gain his knowledge? What was the basement setup all about? How did superman explain his 5 year absence? How did Clark get his job back after five years? These trivial things waste precious minutes on the silver screen. Minutes that are far better spent showing giant spikes thrusting out of the ocean and bullets bouncing off eyeballs.

We've taken that stereotypical actor questioning "what is my motiviation" and tossed him off the set. We don't care what your motivation is! Why did you try to take over the world? um... You... uh... got a bad thigh from KFC.. it put your whole day in the toilet.. whatever, can we please get back to the explosions?

If the special effects are good enough then the audience will make their own backstories and remember everything, even the main plot, is now just a backstory.

What? We've wasted five minutes talking about people in a cruise ship? Ridiculous. Cue giant wave please... that was the real problem with the original, classic poseidon adventure: they spent a whole half hour making you care about characters. Audiences today are way too savvy now. We know who to care about, we don't need to know why! Put the white cowboy hat on the good guy and the black cowboy hat on the bad guy and get the hell out of the way of the special effects. Every 5 minutes kill off the local "red shirt" to let the audience know you mean business.

Dialog? That wastes the shooting schedule. Grunt alot. Scream at everything. Do all of this wearing as little as possible, and get the hell out of the way of the special effects.


Kurt Russell, left, Josh Lucas, right try to pull Richard Dreyfuss out of the way of a special effect


When you watch three movies and the one with the most promising dialog and soul-searching moral is Nacho Libre then you know you've just been duped into seeing Jurassic Park twice.


Bastion of Backstory?


And why do we keep on paying to see this movie over and over again?

It's about the dinosaurs, stupid!


-Ed

Bengies

Well, it's 1:30am and Linda and I are sitting in the best drive-in on the east coast.

We just saw Nacho Libre followed by the new Superman and are now watching poseidon.

For 8 bucks a ticket that isn't bad to catch three movies. If Linda and I eat one more piece of popcorn we will explode!

Now..... Back to the movie.