Maudlin
We have been doing more industrial-strength cleaning to prepare Lentilina's room. Going through some of the piles of pictures, I found the following photograph:
Who are these young people? It is mind-boggling that this picture was taken five years ago. I can only imagine what these pictures will look like when they have been taken twenty years ago, or forty years ago. Clearly I am staying the same ol' Ed and these inkjet spectres are youthening before my eyes.
This past weekend we were in OC, and Saturday night I took a bottle of port, my i-pod (wrapped in a zip-lok bag), and my maudlin self into the hot tub for a long and private soak. To what end? Pondering these life changes that seem intent on happening to me.
Without question I will always be young at heart -- or at the very least I will complete my insanity (past a certain age I think those two things are intertwined). But I will no longer be young of body.
Impending fatherhood has taught me that however young I am at heart, my childhood is over. Half of the people I see on the boardwalk look like they should be in Kindergarden. My first time driving down Ocean Boulevard was in a convertible corvette at senior week cruisin' for chicks. Last weekend, I took the minivan to the local CVS to pick up some milk and snack mix.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm quite happy with where I am in life. And I wouldn't trade my existence for half of those that I see. But several life phases have been put behind me and it would be improper to not take a moment and observe their passing. Why? I sometimes think that it is a myth that we live single lives. I feel quite confident in the fact that, so far, I have led several lives. When I look back on the person I was as a child, a teenager, a college student, and beyond I see such different, distinct people.
When I look at this picture above, scant five years my junior, I wonder who that person is. Surely, it is not me and, were I to be convinced that it was, I would wonder if I were, instead, some clone of this other person. Regardless, that person is one that I will not again see in my mirror, and that single thought most definitely gives me pause. And then pause further to realize that the image I do see in my mirror will be equally foreign to some other version of me some finite years hence.
And, of course, the pause is momentary, and Linda's office, for so long a nursery only to our youthful archives continues its rehabilitation. And I do, soon after, remember that unless I unpause and start living, my future self will have nothing to reflect upon after those finite years hence.
So, if you will excuse us, Linda and I have yet some rosebuds to gather. 8)
-Ed
Who are these young people? It is mind-boggling that this picture was taken five years ago. I can only imagine what these pictures will look like when they have been taken twenty years ago, or forty years ago. Clearly I am staying the same ol' Ed and these inkjet spectres are youthening before my eyes.
This past weekend we were in OC, and Saturday night I took a bottle of port, my i-pod (wrapped in a zip-lok bag), and my maudlin self into the hot tub for a long and private soak. To what end? Pondering these life changes that seem intent on happening to me.
Without question I will always be young at heart -- or at the very least I will complete my insanity (past a certain age I think those two things are intertwined). But I will no longer be young of body.
Impending fatherhood has taught me that however young I am at heart, my childhood is over. Half of the people I see on the boardwalk look like they should be in Kindergarden. My first time driving down Ocean Boulevard was in a convertible corvette at senior week cruisin' for chicks. Last weekend, I took the minivan to the local CVS to pick up some milk and snack mix.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm quite happy with where I am in life. And I wouldn't trade my existence for half of those that I see. But several life phases have been put behind me and it would be improper to not take a moment and observe their passing. Why? I sometimes think that it is a myth that we live single lives. I feel quite confident in the fact that, so far, I have led several lives. When I look back on the person I was as a child, a teenager, a college student, and beyond I see such different, distinct people.
When I look at this picture above, scant five years my junior, I wonder who that person is. Surely, it is not me and, were I to be convinced that it was, I would wonder if I were, instead, some clone of this other person. Regardless, that person is one that I will not again see in my mirror, and that single thought most definitely gives me pause. And then pause further to realize that the image I do see in my mirror will be equally foreign to some other version of me some finite years hence.
And, of course, the pause is momentary, and Linda's office, for so long a nursery only to our youthful archives continues its rehabilitation. And I do, soon after, remember that unless I unpause and start living, my future self will have nothing to reflect upon after those finite years hence.
So, if you will excuse us, Linda and I have yet some rosebuds to gather. 8)
-Ed
posted by Ed at 12:41 AM
1 Comments:
Wow, you hit the proverbial nail on the head with this one, that's all I can say.
Thanks for sharing.
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