Doomed To Repeat
I've always considered myself something of a reactor -- someone who takes his social cues from those around him. Now, I'll wait a moment and let some of my friends and family pick themselves up off the floor...
Back with me again? Good! Let's continue...
Yes, when some moral or ethical path illuminates in front of me I'll follow my belief in it through thick and thin. But in times of peace, when such adherence is not called for, I tend to take my cues from those around me. Really. I promise.
Some people I work with think I am devoid of a sense of humor. Others outside of work think I am devoid of a sense of seriousness. Some think I never finish anything, others marvel at what I've accomplished. To some I despise technology while others think I'm an incurable geek.
Linda sometimes thinks it funny to watch me skate through different social circles -- noting that I really do act differently (sometimes contradictory). She knows when my laugh is fake, when I've modified a story to be more applicable to the current audience, or when I am encouraging things I don't really believe just to positively advance the current conversation.
Now, it's really not as bad as all that -- I'm usually pretty honest when it counts. But I've recently reconnected with someone I hadn't talked to in quite some time. A previous co-worker who has a very dark, very sarcastic sense of humor. You all know him too -- his picture is two entries beneath this one.
Shooting some e-mail sback and forth this past week I was struck by just how quickly I try and align my humor to his. And in the event that he is reading this blog -- no, I just can't bring myself to do that to a ferret.
While a part of me appreciates, understands, and kind of brags about such adaptability I've come to understand that it represents a serious integration problem. And this blog is an excellent example of that.
Lots of family read this blog, as do several friends -- across many different social circles. What face do I put on these entries? Do I bounce from personality to personality or try and find a consistent on-line voice? I suppose that were I to try to remain faithful to the purpose of this blog I would remember that I'm supposed to write here for myself. Such independence precludes worrying about the response these writings have on others.
Back with me again? Good! Let's continue...
Yes, when some moral or ethical path illuminates in front of me I'll follow my belief in it through thick and thin. But in times of peace, when such adherence is not called for, I tend to take my cues from those around me. Really. I promise.
Some people I work with think I am devoid of a sense of humor. Others outside of work think I am devoid of a sense of seriousness. Some think I never finish anything, others marvel at what I've accomplished. To some I despise technology while others think I'm an incurable geek.
Linda sometimes thinks it funny to watch me skate through different social circles -- noting that I really do act differently (sometimes contradictory). She knows when my laugh is fake, when I've modified a story to be more applicable to the current audience, or when I am encouraging things I don't really believe just to positively advance the current conversation.
Now, it's really not as bad as all that -- I'm usually pretty honest when it counts. But I've recently reconnected with someone I hadn't talked to in quite some time. A previous co-worker who has a very dark, very sarcastic sense of humor. You all know him too -- his picture is two entries beneath this one.
Shooting some e-mail sback and forth this past week I was struck by just how quickly I try and align my humor to his. And in the event that he is reading this blog -- no, I just can't bring myself to do that to a ferret.
While a part of me appreciates, understands, and kind of brags about such adaptability I've come to understand that it represents a serious integration problem. And this blog is an excellent example of that.
Lots of family read this blog, as do several friends -- across many different social circles. What face do I put on these entries? Do I bounce from personality to personality or try and find a consistent on-line voice? I suppose that were I to try to remain faithful to the purpose of this blog I would remember that I'm supposed to write here for myself. Such independence precludes worrying about the response these writings have on others.
posted by Ed at 8:21 PM
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