How the West was Won

To be perfectly honest, I have no idea how the west was won, as I came upon the scene many, many decades after the victory. But I have read alot of romanticized crud about how the west was won, and it usually goes something like this:

The American pioneer looked out into the wild yonder and saw a way to claim their own land and, thus, their future prosperity. Armed only with a faith in God and their craftsman capabilities these brave spirits went off to build a new nation with their bare hands.

I just have a hard time swallowing that. I have my own specific fantasy about the origin of manifest destiny:

Bud: I like it here in the city.
Old woman 2 stories up: Look out below. plop
Jeremiah: Sweet buttered corn, what is that stuff.
Bud: I do believe it is.. it is.. sniff... sniff Oh gawd.
jeremiah: What say you we run into the woods, build a farm, and try and live past 32.
Bud: Whatever, let's just get off this street.
Another Old woman 2 stories up: Look out below. plop
Yet Another Old woman 2 stories up: Look out below. plop
Bud: Go West, Jeremiah, Go West!

Necessity is the mother of invention, they say, and I imagine that any pioneering spirit was born out of simple emotional darwinism, the common side-effect of those who "made it" in the West. Of course, that's just an opinion, and from an engineer, no less.

I was pondering this pioneering spirit the other day as I tried to disassemble my BMW. I was wondering, as I removed door parts, motors, gears and wires, what made these men and women of yore start down a trail from which they may never return. As I tried to keep the myriad of screws together, I wondered the risks that these people took to tame the wild west, unsure if their skills were up to the challenge.

You see, my BMW is a bit like the wild west. Last week the rear passenger-side window stopped working, and I was faced with a choice:

- Take it to the dealer and spend a minimum of $300 to have them fix it (faintly reminiscent of "look out below! plop)

- Take the passenger side door apart and see if I could rig something up (Go west! Go West!)

The necessity of not spending $300 on my car was the mother of my door-ectomy invention. So, here is how Linda found me in my own auto-parts wagon train:





Using a firm faith in God and my craftsmanlike abilities, I was able to find out that my window regulator was busted and that a replacement part could be ordered online for $75.00:





So my part should arrive Wednesday. My rear passenger window is currently "tied" in the up position, and after my sister told me the dealership charges $600 to replace a window regulator, I am going out to purchase the service manual for my car as well.

So, I cannot even begin to tell you how the west was won, but I can start to tell you the story of how Ed conquered his BMW or, alternatively, how the BMW conquered Ed. Either way, I'm sure the struggle will make for some humorous reading in the months to come.